West Ham v Arsenal. Score, teams, and what happens afterwards

Warning: contains dead bodies, mild peril, partial nudity, swearing, irony  and occasional violence.
“West Ham are in dire straits,” said Billy the Dog, as I approached the allotment and offered him a pint of sweet sherry.¬† “That Mark Knoffler has lost it, the new glacier tax is hitting them hard, and their bid to host the [...]
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